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I remember vividly sitting in a workshop where we were speaking about our values. We’d been given a list of 60-something words to choose from, and were tasked with choosing 3-5 that felt important.
After that, we were split into groups. Each person was given 20 minutes to share a story related to their word with the prompt “A time when [value word] was important to me…”. I was 20 at the time, in a group with people older and younger.
It was wonderful speaking about these things. One woman in her 40s shared that feeling secure was important to her, that she’d declined job opportunities that fel too risky because of it.
As an ambitious 20-year old I couldn’t fathom it. She continued sharing how she just kept thinking about what would happen to her children if she couldn’t pay her mortgage. Not put food on the table. What her husband would say and think about her.
That’s when I understood.
We all have values that are more or less important to us at different points in time. I have one set of values today, but I know very well that I didn’t have some of them just 6 months ago. They change over time, with us and with our environments.
→ We change values over time
I’ve recently shifted more and more of my attention to my health and fitness. It started about a year back when i’d had enough of not having energy and being sluggish in general. Since then, I’ve started exercising regularly (apple watch rings are closed every day 340 days back), and met with a nutritionist.
The reason I didn’t do all of this before was simple: I didn’t care.
When reflecting on my behaviour and how that didn’t hold up with many of the thoughts I had about myself, I knew I had to make a change to my values.
Said and done, I put health as a priority. Because now’s the time and place to do so.
→ Values are never wrong
In the process of shifting my values, i remembered the interaction with the woman twice my age. I realised that I’d been quite judgmental about her prioritising safety before I knew why.
And as well all know, we all do that.
But the values we hold are never wrong. They’re merely a lens with which we look at the world. Sometimes they do you a service, and sometimes a disservice. The good thing is that you can regroup, reprioritise and change.
→ Check in on your values
For me, it’s sometimes hard to know what my values are. I get stuck in the day to day, and forget to take a break to reflect. Sometimes I try to reflect, and don’t really have the framework ready to look at something the way I want to.