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On Structure

Last Friday, I left work at 4 pm. I went to the grocery store to pick up a bunch of cookies, chips, some fruit and light beers. The cashier looked at me like she was wishing me a happy party.

I got home, changed into my running clothes and went out for a 2 mile run. Then I proceeded to run a little more than 1 mile every hour on the hour up until 4 pm on the Saturday. (doubled the last run because my knee was acting up when rested for 45 mins). When finishing the last run, I’d run my first marathon.

It’s been a goal of mine for the past year to be able to run long distance again, and now I am.

I want to talk about a couple of reflections I had from this experience.

→ The world doesn’t care

Have you ever walked around on your birthday only to be annoyed or surprised that you don’t get any special treatment from strangers who don’t know it’s your birthday? This experience was very much like that.

A majority of my loop was on two of the busier streets in Malmö. Throughout the evening and night, I ran past the same 2 bars every hour. None of the people sitting in the outdoor seats recognised me running, even though I ran past some of them 4 or 5 times.

Not only that, the world just keeps going when we don’t look. I saw ambulances go places with the lights on, people getting both to and from the club, parents walking their kids in strollers almost every hour of the day. It was like peeking a play I knew was going on, but hadn’t had the chance to see yet.

None of them stopped for me to run my marathon. They simply didn’t care about another running dashing past them. Maybe they’d cared a little if they knew what I was doing, but probably not. I know I wouldn’t have.

The point is this: The world doesn’t care about you. It’s busy tending to itself. Go do stuff anyways. Not for them, but for yourself.

At first I was annoyed at people being in my way, then I started relishing it. Finding the joy in having my own secret. I was in on running this crazy race, they weren’t.

→ In movement I heal

I’ve had this as a mantra to keep working out every day. I feel like I’m getting stronger and better with every session. Even when I’m dead tired or sore everywhere, i get out for a short easy run. Because I genuinely think it heals my aches.

I found another dimension to this. I’ve had all the mental benefits from exercising before. It’s why I started running heavily again, to process heavy feelings.

The past couple of weeks and months have all contained challenges for myself and people close to me.

These runs were, as I’ve discovered most runs are for me, mentally cleansing. They let my mind rest and my body take over the load, stress and pressure. Let me heal for a bit.

It’s been said so many times that it feels like a cliché at this point. But these runs were mentally freeing, and really good for my mental health.